Intimacy can burn rather slowly until we've sorted everything out.By then, the object of our affection will have lost interest. In a cautious world, seizing the moment is undeniably romantic and sexy.If not, the INTJ will waste no time on further courtship. And by big, I mean the sort of complex, probing, no-stone-left-unturned questions you get asked at an interview.We think we are nailing down our date's personality and suitability this way. Ask your date what kind of music they like (movies, books, food.) Everyone has an opinion on these subjects.Always strive to be right, even if it crushes your significant other. If the romance is new, constant nitpicking is extremely annoying and unattractive.Don't worry about the personal cost of your attitude, and never give anyone a break. So curb the sarcasm and offer up compliments if you want them to fall into your arms.By then our feelings are so obvious to us that we don't think they're worth mentioning.This lack of vocabulary can make other people feel incredibly insecure.
Most INTJs won't admit to caring for someone until they are completely sure it's genuine.
But if the conversation naturally veers off at a tangent and throws up all sorts of delicious morsels, then you've probably struck gold.
And you didn't even ask your date about their life goals.
As we are repeatedly shot down, we come to recognize that celebrations are, in fact, relevant to the rest of the world. Rather than falling head over heels for the nearest warm body, we construct a well-defined image of our ideal partner, break the dating process down into a series of actionable milestones, then proceed to execute the plan with laser-sharp focus. Partners and dates want to know they are attractive, respected and loved for who they are without all the wrangling, controlling and mind games.
Painful as it is, you've got to play with the other person, not manipulate them like pawns on a chessboard.