But there's nothing R-rated about frank communication and consent. Unfortunately, in its shortsighted efforts to become a "PG" "dating/relationship" website (as opposed to a place to find sex), Seeking has some pretty murky, sex-negative policies.Take, for example, the demographics of the Sugar Baby Summit: it was overwhelmingly populated by female SBs seeking male Sugar Daddies.There are certain keywords and a threshold [for how many times you use them]."So, all you "weirdos" making folks "uncomfortable" with your legitimate desires: this might not be the most hospitable place for you.I tried to ask what buzz words could get people scrubbed from the site, and was refused an answer: "I can't tell you about the keywords, because if I did, then people would get around them by using other words, and we really don't want those kind of people on the site."Those kind of people.Sugaring can absolutely be a feminist act when performed by women who own their sexuality and are up-front about their needs and expectations.And Seeking seemed committed to reinforcing this idea, making clear that there is nothing inherently anti-feminist about becoming a Sugar Baby.What is anti-feminist, however, is how the Summit undermined its attempt to empower women by encouraging dishonesty and manipulation dressed up as ~flirtatious teasing~ and coquettishness.Of course, these tactics have their place in any power dynamic.
The same rep added with regard to BDSM, "If you have wording about being weird on there or something that would make someone uncomfortable, we actually have a team of people who will deny you."Companionship" is an equally broad term, which can range from explicitly negotiated sexual contracts, to casual dating, to a monogamous relationship, to being a married Daddy's secondary partner.The Sugar Baby Summit seminars included important SB how-tos like style and beauty tips, Internet safety, and a funds management session hosted by (I kid you not) a former Romney-Ryan campaign staffer.But I — and a lot of sex-positive feminists like me — believe that A) there's nothing wrong with sex work, B) there are totally ways to live a feminist SB lifestyle, and C) there are ways to live an SB lifestyle that have nothing to do with being a sex worker whatsoever.There's nothing wrong with entering into a consensual, reciprocal relationship in which "love" is exchanged for material gain.