Hassan, 23, lives in Qatif, Saudi Arabia, and works in the tech industry.
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I don't understand much of what happens, but I go on hoping someday I'll understand.
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One winter day a few years ago, I met a girl I really liked. We were looking at each other, so I went up to her and said, ‘‘Hi, you look beautiful.’’ She thanked me, and I handed her a piece of paper with my number on it. ‘‘I’m interested in you.’’ Then I left immediately. This kind of thing goes on a lot in private in my country. It really sucks to live in a place where it’s against the law to fall in love. Many young men and women in Saudi Arabia have to live a double life.
We started talking on the phone for hours every day. She was 18, pretty and slender, with long black hair and light brown skin. There are young people who have sex before marriage, drink or use drugs and don’t care about religion. We agreed that the society we lived in was wrong about this. We lay in bed for a while, and then we got really hungry. We went to the kitchen, and she cooked steak for me.
I liked that she could speak English, and we liked the same music. We were sitting on the couch in my living room, staring at each other. After kissing for a while, I said: ‘‘I’m not comfortable here on the couch.
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If you are found guilty of khilwa — when a man and woman who are not family members are together alone — you can go to jail for a few months. Sometimes you’re told that you have to marry the woman. (Before Samar, it had happened only a few times.) I didn’t know what to talk about or how to act, so I started showing her my PC and my Xbox, that kind of stuff. It was the first time for me, but I knew what to do. She was really scared that her family had found out she was with me.
She wasn’t a serious gamer, but she played video games. I felt she wanted to do something because she kissed me first. I dropped her off near her home and told her to call me later to tell me what happened with her parents.