Love has taken on a “this is scary” dimension because of the potential that the other shoe could drop at any second.They might not just be untrusting of lovers, it might bleed over to other parts of their life.It was an elaborate way of dodging a deeper commitment but I truly thought I was just being “thorough with my life.” This looks like a ton of “failures to launch.” They might be the dumper and bolt quickly, or they might stick around and sabotage things— driving the other person to dump them. It could mean that they will eventually pull away from you to avoid being hurt.Often because of being broken hearted or deeper seated issues in the past, the commitment shy generally feel like the only person they can truly trust are themselves.
What they’re really saying is “I’m feeling resistant to this” which may or may not ever change.
In an effort to avoid “getting too serious,” they compartmentalize their life.
Meeting someone’s friends and family should be a natural process as you get closer.
It’s enough to make anyone feel unhinged and frankly it’s a sign that you’re dealing with someone who can’t handle the idea of being hurt.
That unhinged feeling is another red flag, namely: If you feel driven to make them define things or like you can’t get comfortable, consider why this might be.