The women I have dated understood that I desired equality within a relationship, that we would be partners. Nobody has ever said to me, “I’m not into Asian guys.” That said, actions speak louder than words, and I don’t match as often as I’d like on dating apps in Pittsburgh. I’m a pharmacist and I was engaged to someone who didn’t graduate college, and it created such a problem in my family.I haven’t had to deal with Asian fetishization; I mean, how often have you heard women say, “Oh shit, I only date Asian guys! There’s this expectation that the man should have an equal or higher degree than the woman, and for me and my fiance, it obviously wasn’t the case.As an Asian man, standing right next to him, dudes would just completely disregard me.I thought that my chances of finding another guy were much lower, so I convinced myself that I needed this relationship more than my partner.Yes, because my parents have two pretty different perspectives: My mother wants me to find a husband who is stable with a lucrative career, while my father seems to be more concerned that I find someone that I can really emotionally connect with, someone that’s simply a good person.The fetishization Asian-American women have to deal while dating is pretty widespread. There’s always a question in the back of my mind of whether the person I’m dating is attracted to me for the right or wrong reasons.Personally, I don’t date them because I just think we’d be very different culturally.Do you ever struggle with balancing your parents’ expectations with what you’re looking for in a partner?
To get a better feel for what it’s like to date as an Asian-American today, we asked our readers for real talk on everything from dating apps, sexual stereotypes, interracial dating and parental expectations. Whenever the rice got too low in the bowl, they would add water to make the illusion that there was more food.
It took a lot of time and convincing for my parents to accept him, even though it didn’t work out in the end.
In Indian culture, it’s not just the person you marry that matters; it’s also the family they come from.
I grew up practicing self-defense and playing competitive sports, but I also cooked and cleaned and sang and danced in musicals.
I hope I present myself as a well-rounded individual, but without feedback on dating apps, it’s hard to judge.